When you have clarity around your strengths, you’re more confident and self-assured. Your resume, cover letter, summary on LinkedIn (any commentary about you) will include real, quantitative, and qualitative descriptions of such strengths. Any reference to you or about you will shine like a lucky penny on the ground. And, just like that shiny penny naturally attracts an enthusiastic person to pick it up; having your strengths surround you like a positive beacon will attract the right employer. Why? Because they are searching for your strengths in the next employee they hire!

So, are you confident with what you believe your strengths to be? The following is an exercise my clients have used that reinforced their confidence. It solicits feedback from people you respect, work with currently, or have worked with in the past. The people you work with and report to may have a different opinion of what you believe your strengths to be. It’s important to understand their perspective. We all have days that are up and others that are down. When you have a day on the downside, it’s important to recall the positive points that others feel about you. External validation from someone you respect and admire can be quite powerful. It may seem strange to question your boss (and people you work with), so here are some ways to ease into the conversation.

You can tell him or her that you are looking at ways to improve yourself. The Self-Help industry is huge! There are hundreds of thousands of books, magazines and other types of entertainment relating to Personal Improvement. No one will think that it’s strange or unusual. He/she will feel honored that you’ve asked their opinion. You can say, since I respect you and your feedback, I was hoping I could ask you a few questions to help me with my exercises. Now, if they are not receptive, believe me when I tell you, they are not the right person to be asking regardless of their contribution. It would be shocking if someone, anyone didn’t want to help.

Tell them they don’t have to answer on the spot, they can and should consider the questions and get back to you. However, give them a time frame that you expect their response. This way if you don’t receive it by then, you have the invitation to follow up with them for their support. Try not to give them too much time, ask them when they think they can have it back to you and schedule the meeting.

Here are sample questions that can assist them with providing you the information you’re seeking.

• When you think of me, what positive traits immediately come to mind?
• When thinking of our relationship, do you have a memorable story or situation that makes you smile? What is it?
• If someone were to ask you for a character reference about me, what would you say is my strongest/best characteristic? Also, what would you say I should work on?
• In what type of situation would you like to have me as your partner?
• Is there a certain type of project that you would choose me to be on your team?
• What trait do I have, that if I could improve it a little or a lot, would significantly impact my performance?
• Is there something I do (differently or specifically), that if everyone did that, you’d be thrilled?

Most people will be highly impressed with this type of survey. However, be ready for responses that may include the following examples. Also, be prepared for questions surrounding the same.

• Wow, you’re really taking this seriously. What prompted this?
• This is quite motivating, how did you come up with it?
• The cynic might ask; what are you really looking for here?
• Some of these questions make me a little uncomfortable to answer.
• I’d like to help you, but HR may want to get involved.

If you run into any of these objectives just thank them and ask them to do whatever they feel comfortable. Explain that you appreciate their feedback and that it’s totally separate from ‘work’.